as a child

there was a moment when Jesus and His friends were on a hillside .....
after a long, full day of teaching, the sun had started to slide beyond the horizon
and evening approached ....Jesus, fully man, realized all who surrounded him,
men, women and children, must be hungry ....he asked his friends to feed everyone ...
there was a huge wondering then amongst the disciples .... how?   how can this be done?
and a single young boy came forward and offered all he had .... five loaves and two fishes ...
this boy never stopped to consider that what he had to offer would never be enough to feed thousands ... he never hesitated or tried to figure it out or even hold back because he knew he did not have enough ....in his simple, yet not so simple, innocence, he offered all he had ....
and we all know the story ... Jesus accepted his offering, gave thanks, broke it and everyone was fed .. to overflowing... there was more than enough ...

what has struck me lately is that there must have been others in that huge crowd who had a small lunch yet no one else offered ..... did each one consider the smallness of what they had would never be useful? did they think it would not even be accepted?  if they gave up their lunch, were they not willing to go hungry do that someone else might feed?  while sitting right at the feet of Jesus was there such selfishness and entitlement that there was no love for a neighbour?????

several times in scripture Jesus speak of children, of being a child, of loving Him with a child-like love ..... not a childish love but a child-like love .... when a child loves, there is absolute trust that the one loved will love in return .... when we "grow up" all this intellectual wondering and posturing begins ....a need for acceptance with a belief that acceptance will only happen if we have something grand to offer .....

and then of course there is this loud huge overwhelming fear of being broken, of being truly seen...
and yet ..... Jesus gave thanks, He broke what was offered and only then was there enough, more than enough ...

we all need to fold the wings of our intellect into our heart and relearn how to live out of our heart ....
how to love as a child .....and offer all we have, all we are, all we ever hope to be ...

and I hear

I am your Father
will you be My child?