oil or lack of

part of my reading this morning was from another familiar story
Matthew 25. .... the ten "virgins", their lamps, the invitation to the wedding, and the oil, or lack of ..
I learned this morning that their lamps were actually poles with an oil soaked rag on top ...
these "lamps" used up the oil quickly and thus one needed a good supply ...
in the dark, these lamps when lit allowed the person to see where they were going, but
also reflected the person's presence to other people ...

the application today, is what I am reflecting?   if anything?

in the darkness of this world,do I reflect light?

are my private times with the Lord plantiful enough that my lamp will always be well lit ....
that I will be light so others can find their way in the darkness of these times ....

that I will be ready ?

so my take away is
what do I reflect
what do I give off
what do others see
do I have enough oil ........

I never want to find the door shut and hear those soul shaking words "I do not know you"

my neighbour, myself

recently, during a conversation, I felt deeply betrayed and dismissed ... I tried to address how I was feeling but again was dismissed and so I left it ... feeling “what’s the use” ... “this is the way it always has been and always will be” .... and so I parked my feelings, my pain, my hurt and shut the door on them ....I tossed myself into the ditch at the edge of the road.....
the very next day I was reading “Loving God, Loving Myself” and suddenly started pondering the scriptural story we refer to as “the good Samaritan” ..... the story that asks the quesion “who is my neighbour?”
there was a man, in a ditch, by the roadside, obviously beaten up, hurting ....
he was visible to all who passed by ... one who saw and did not stop was a priest ... he had places to go, things to do, people to help and did not have time to stop and stoop down and perhaps get a tad dirty ... another who saw and kept going was a Levite .... a church official, who decided not to take a chance in soiling his official robes, nor disrupting his important schedule ....
there was one who stopped ... a man from Samaria, one who was looked down upon by priests and Levites as being of lesser importance .... this one saw, and stopped and brought the beaten one to a place of safety and quiet where he could heal ... he provided the means of healing ...
and I saw myself in this story ... in all the characters of this story ...
yesterday I was beaten up, hurt and tossed aside at the edge of the road ....
I was also the priest .... too busy with life and others to care for to pay attention to the wounded one ....
I too was the Levite .... dressed respectfully, living well, serving .....
I needed to find the “good Samaritan” within myself ... the one who does not mind a mess, the one who interrupts the agenda, the one who is fully present and so stops to hear and listen and bring to a place of healing ...
and so, who is my neighbour ... ? the broken, beaten up one? or the one who will stop ?
and I think it is not only me, but perhaps all of us live with a “neighbour” walking alongside us ... part of ourselves .....wounded parts and helper parts ..
we simply need to be willing to stop when we see .....we need to love ourselves ... I need to love myself enough to care for myself when beaten up, I need to take the time to heal myself out of the ditch .... 

today

today
may I be aware
of the silent God
Who stands by me

every moment
in every breath
in the words that come from my mouth
in the thoughts that roll around in my mind

in the seen
and the unseen

in the pain
and in the joy

may I be aware
of the silent God
who stands by me .....