touch the untouchable

this morning I read of the leper who asked Jesus to make him whole ...
the last line of the reading held these challenging words ..
"reach out and touch the untouchable" ...

who in my life is "untouchable"?
who in society these days is untouchable?
how does this apply to me?

and I suppose the untouchable for me is anyone whom I just do not like ...
someone I have no time for,
someone who has hurt me,
someone who has the capability of hurting me, or the desire to hurt me

and what does it matter if I am hurt
if I am misunderstood
if I am misquoted, misrepresented ...

and so, during my day today,
where ever,
may I look for the untouchable
and may I dare to touch
with my hand, my words, my prayers...

and may the untouchable be made whole
and may the toucher be made whole

for if I am afraid to touch
then I am also afraid to be touched
which makes me also an "untouchable" ....

the margins

I am struck again and again by the fact
that Jesus always sought the one
who sat on the margin of life,
on a mat by the roadside,
hidden up in a tree,
at a well in the heat of the day,
committing adultery,
hiding shame in his cloak ....
the ordinary ones ....who fished ...
and the leaders??  those He rebuked !

it was not the leaders He ate with
but the one in sin .....

we are told even to remember, not the leader with the big name
but the woman
without a name ....

changing seasons

suddenly
from sweltering heat
to toe chilling reality
a quiet season change ...
outside
and
inside

the leaves are moving from brilliant green to a rather drab yellowy brown...
and falling like a gentle rain ...

I was surprised years ago when I learned that leaves return to their natural colour in the fall ...
not the stunning reds and yellows
but rather this drab yellowy brown ...
not really attractive at all ..
nothing that grabs your attention

and how like life this is ...
as we age
we return to our natural "colour" ....
the glittering image falls away
and we are as we are ...

waiting ...

we cannot stop this season
nor hurry it ..

simply accept it
and choose to embrace it ....

after all life is lighter without the trappings of a glittering image
easier to move about
easier to be still
easier to be silent
easier to watch
and listen

easier to provide a place of rest
and safety
for others still robed in their glittering image

easier to demonstrate
that simply being
is so freeing

the best is yet to come ...

a gift

speech is a gift ...a treasured gift .... one only has to meet someone who cannot hear and thus cannot speak well to understand the enormity of the gift of speech ..
and yet, we are so careless with this gift ...
we hurt the heart, mind and soul of another with careless hard words ...
we change lives by telling lies ...
we refuse to speak and torture another with hard silence .....
or
we can speak words of kindness and love ...
we can speak truth ... even a truth that might be difficult to hear can be heard well if the words are spoken well ....
we can speak very few words of softness and gentleness no matter the situation ...

and yes,

sometimes it is better to say nothing, not say one single word,
when the silence is not to punish or damage
but simply to create space for Jesus ....

I know I have not always used this gift of speech well
and I am saddened about sullying this amazing gift ...

Jesus, be Lord of my tongue........

in between

We have to be candles, 

burning between hope and despair,
faith and doubt,

 life and death,
all the opposites.

to be a light means to burn

to use myself up

a candle uses itself completely up

and slowly extinguishes

no great fanfare

just a silent ending of the light

and so I burn

hopefully brightly

during this inbetween time

this not knowing whether Jeff will live

or die

and I cry for mercy  .....

and yet if he dies

does that mean God is not merciful?

not good?

in this desert

my mouth is full of the sands of fear

making it hard to sing

God is so good

God is so good

God is so good to me

and He says

My ways are not your ways

My thoughts not your thoughts

God Who never changes

IS

oil or lack of

part of my reading this morning was from another familiar story
Matthew 25. .... the ten "virgins", their lamps, the invitation to the wedding, and the oil, or lack of ..
I learned this morning that their lamps were actually poles with an oil soaked rag on top ...
these "lamps" used up the oil quickly and thus one needed a good supply ...
in the dark, these lamps when lit allowed the person to see where they were going, but
also reflected the person's presence to other people ...

the application today, is what I am reflecting?   if anything?

in the darkness of this world,do I reflect light?

are my private times with the Lord plantiful enough that my lamp will always be well lit ....
that I will be light so others can find their way in the darkness of these times ....

that I will be ready ?

so my take away is
what do I reflect
what do I give off
what do others see
do I have enough oil ........

I never want to find the door shut and hear those soul shaking words "I do not know you"

my neighbour, myself

recently, during a conversation, I felt deeply betrayed and dismissed ... I tried to address how I was feeling but again was dismissed and so I left it ... feeling “what’s the use” ... “this is the way it always has been and always will be” .... and so I parked my feelings, my pain, my hurt and shut the door on them ....I tossed myself into the ditch at the edge of the road.....
the very next day I was reading “Loving God, Loving Myself” and suddenly started pondering the scriptural story we refer to as “the good Samaritan” ..... the story that asks the quesion “who is my neighbour?”
there was a man, in a ditch, by the roadside, obviously beaten up, hurting ....
he was visible to all who passed by ... one who saw and did not stop was a priest ... he had places to go, things to do, people to help and did not have time to stop and stoop down and perhaps get a tad dirty ... another who saw and kept going was a Levite .... a church official, who decided not to take a chance in soiling his official robes, nor disrupting his important schedule ....
there was one who stopped ... a man from Samaria, one who was looked down upon by priests and Levites as being of lesser importance .... this one saw, and stopped and brought the beaten one to a place of safety and quiet where he could heal ... he provided the means of healing ...
and I saw myself in this story ... in all the characters of this story ...
yesterday I was beaten up, hurt and tossed aside at the edge of the road ....
I was also the priest .... too busy with life and others to care for to pay attention to the wounded one ....
I too was the Levite .... dressed respectfully, living well, serving .....
I needed to find the “good Samaritan” within myself ... the one who does not mind a mess, the one who interrupts the agenda, the one who is fully present and so stops to hear and listen and bring to a place of healing ...
and so, who is my neighbour ... ? the broken, beaten up one? or the one who will stop ?
and I think it is not only me, but perhaps all of us live with a “neighbour” walking alongside us ... part of ourselves .....wounded parts and helper parts ..
we simply need to be willing to stop when we see .....we need to love ourselves ... I need to love myself enough to care for myself when beaten up, I need to take the time to heal myself out of the ditch .... 

today

today
may I be aware
of the silent God
Who stands by me

every moment
in every breath
in the words that come from my mouth
in the thoughts that roll around in my mind

in the seen
and the unseen

in the pain
and in the joy

may I be aware
of the silent God
who stands by me .....